


Merlin's New Shirt

by cdnacho98



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angry Merlin (Merlin), Angst and Humor, Arthur Being A Clotpole, Funny, Gen, Humorous Ending, Merlin's Neckerchief (Merlin), Superstitious Knights
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-17 04:40:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28968459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cdnacho98/pseuds/cdnacho98
Summary: Merlin has spent the better part of 3 years wearing the same two shirts...So when he starts walking around in a purple shirt, it's no wonder Arthur is suspicious. Unfortunately, he gets a bit carried away, and convinces the knights Merlin has a demon possessing him, much to Merlin's annoyance. Utter silliness and ridiculousness!
Comments: 15
Kudos: 82





	Merlin's New Shirt

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Starting to bring my work from FFN here too, since this site is easier to manage! This one is actually new though, just wrote it today. Takes place in between Season 3 and Season 4. Side note, I totally did not see where this story was ending up when I thought of the premise. Just wanted to write something funny about Merlin's purple shirt, and his friends' reactions, and then THIS happened.
> 
> My apologies to poor Merlin for his suffering.
> 
> Hope you enjoy this utter ridiculousness! Leave those reviews, they make me happy!

There was a rap at the door.

"Enter," called Arthur, tossing down the edict scroll he'd been looking over.

Leon walked into the room, bowing before the king.

"Stand, Sir Leon. You have news?"

Leon nodded. "It's done, sire."

Arthur sat up straight. "Go on."

"The prisoner was escorted to the dungeons. Percival and Gwaine are with him now. Elyan as well."

"And Lancelot?"

"On patrol duty."

"No one saw you?"

"No one." Leon confirmed. "Elyan cleared the nearby corridors beforehand. We brought him to the interrogation chamber, as you requested."

"Has he said anything?"

Leon shook his head. "Nothing, my lord. He refuses to speak until you are present."

"Very well." He stood up. "Come, Leon. We have work to do."

* * *

At the king's nod, Percival pulled the blindfold off the prisoner.

"Hello, Merlin."

Merlin squinted, trying to adjust his eyes to the dim lighting. He took in the circle of knights surrounding him. His eyes fell on the king.

"Arthur. What the _hell_ are you doing?"

Arthur crossed his arms. "Simply taking the necessary precautions, Merlin… _if_ that's even your name."

Merlin stared at him. "Of course it's my name. What are you talking about?"

"Nice try." scoffed Arthur. "As if you didn't know."

Merlin stared at him. "I don't. I honestly have no idea what you're talking about. What in the _world_ is going on?" he demanded. "Why did you drag me down here?"

Arthur pointed.

Puzzled, Merlin's eyes followed the path of Arthur's accusing finger, until he was looking at his own stomach. He glanced back up at the king.

"Is this about the sausages? I swear, I only took one. I didn't think you'd miss it."

"This is not about my breakfast sausages," said Arthur, "but we'll talk about those later. I'm talking about _that_." He pointed again. "Your _shirt_ , Merlin," he said impatiently, when Merlin still looked confused.

"Oh." He looked down. "What about it? It's not torn, is it?"

"It's purple."

"And…?"

" _Mer_ lin _never_ wears purple."

"He doesn't…I mean, I don't, do I?" said Merlin warily.

"Which means…"

"I decided to try something new?"

Arthur ignored him. "It _means_ …you're not Merlin."

Merlin gaped at him. "What? Arthur, are you mad?!"

Arthur clenched his fists. "I'm onto you, you filthy creature," he hissed. "Don't play me for a fool."

Merlin couldn't resist. "You sure are acting like one." Behind him, he heard Gwaine stifle a snort.

Arthur threw Gwaine a dirty look, then smiled grimly. "Very good. You play him well. You look like him, you talk like him, you even insult me like he does. But the game is over. Now, tell me what you've done with my friend, and I'll make your death quick."

"Arthur, I'm right‒"

"Now, Percival!" shouted Arthur.

The knight hesitated. "Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Do it."

Reluctantly, Percival tossed a massive book at Merlin's head.

"Ow!" Merlin yelled, as the heavy volume hit him square on the nose. "Percival, what the‒?"

"It's working!" Arthur turned to the other knights. "You know what to do."

Merlin dodged as well as he could in his chains, as the rest of the knights threw book after book at him. Unfortunately, they had very good aim.

"Arthur, what are you…ow! OW! Ouch!"

"Silence, you demon!" Arthur roared. "Leave our friend's body and the pain will stop!"

" _Demon_? Are–OUCH! OW! Are you–OW! Ow! Stop! OUCH! Are you _insane_?"

"He's afraid! He knows we're close! Keep throwing!"

"ARTHUR! OUCH! ARTHUR, STOP! OW!"

Merlin endured several more painful minutes of being pelted with books before the attack came to a merciful halt.

"Sire, we're out of Bibles."

Arthur huffed. "Fine. Stack them up, Elyan. We'll give him another chance to talk."

"Arthur," said Merlin, trying to speak calmly. "Please listen to me. I am not a demon. I promise."

"That's just what a demon would say."

Merlin sighed. "Alright. What can I say to make you believe me?"

"Explain why you've been going around all of a sudden in a purple shirt."

"I told you," he pleaded. "I just wanted to try a new color!"

Arthur frowned. "You're lying. Elyan? Did you finish stacking the Bibles?"

"Well...yes, but….Maybe we should try a less painful approach first? I mean, just in case it _is_ actually Merlin. He looks pretty banged up."

Arthur mulled it over. "I guess it can't hurt to try something else," he agreed.

"It can hurt _me_ ," muttered Merlin. "Not that anyone seems to care."

Arthur pretended not to hear him. "Alright. Gwaine, get the holy water."

Gwaine went to a table in the corner, picked up a large bucket. Liquid sloshed over the sides as he crossed the room, rejoining the rest of it.

Merlin groaned.

"Sorry, mate," he said apologetically. "Just have to make sure."

"Fine," Merlin sighed. He screwed his eyes shut. "Just get on with it."

Gwaine lifted the bucket over his head and dumped its contents over Merlin.

Merlin gasped as the icy deluge of water hit him, soaking him thoroughly. He shook his sodden hair out of his eyes to glare at the knights.

"You could've heated the water up, you know," he grumbled, shivering.

Arthur folded his arms. "Ready to talk?"

"If you're ready to stop being a cabbage head."

"The shirt, demon," he said testily. "Explain the shirt."

"I'm not a demon!"

"Prove it," ordered Arthur. "Tell me what reason you have to be wearing that monstrosity."

"Hey! It's not _that_ bad!" Merlin protested. "Mary at the tavern said it's a good color on me!"

"Maybe you'll respond to stronger measures," said Arthur. "Leon, hand me the branding iron."

Merlin's eyes practically bulged out of his head. "Branding iron?" he croaked.

Arthur nodded. "We'll put a banishing sigil on your chest. You'll be forced to leave Merlin's body."

"Please don't," Merlin pleaded. "Anything but that. I promised my mother I'd never get a tattoo. She'll _kill_ me!"

"She'll probably kill us all," Gwaine murmured. They all shuddered. Demon or not, they were not at all eager to face the wrath of Hunith.

"It's either that or a wooden stake, I'm afraid." said Arthur. "Your choice."

Merlin swallowed nervously. "When you say 'stake'…I don't suppose you mean the one they're serving for dinner tonight, do you?"

"I mean the wooden one in my pocket with a very pointy edge."

Merlin winced. "Is there a third option?"

"There is," said Arthur. "Your shirt. It's purple. Tell me why. And make sure I believe you."

Merlin threw up his hands in exasperation. "Fine! _Fine_! It was an _accident_ , alright?!"

Arthur blinked. "An accident?" he repeated. Of all the possible explanations, that one had not occurred to him.

Merlin nodded. "I needed a new red neckerchief since my old one was getting worn out, so I went to the tailor. He didn't have any red cloth in stock, so he offered to color a piece of white fabric instead with some dye he'd gotten from a seller down the road. The neckerchief looked fine, but when I washed it with my blue shirt, the dye ran all over it and turned my shirt purple. I didn't say anything, because I knew you would all laugh at me."

He glared at them. "Well? Are you all satisfied?"

Arthur looked at Gwaine.

Gwaine looked at Percival.

Percival looked at Elyan.

Elyan looked at Leon.

Leon looked at Arthur.

"Well," Arthur mused, "I suppose that _does_ sound like the kind of ridiculous thing that could onlyhappen to Merlin."

"So you're convinced I'm not a demon, then?" demanded Merlin.

The knights nodded shamefacedly.

Elyan knelt down to unlock the chains. He fumbled with the key ring, trying to find the right key. Merlin sighed and held out his hand. Elyan sheepishly handed him the keys and backed off. They watched as Merlin unlocked the many padlocks, freeing himself from the manacles. He stood up, brushing the dust off his trousers.

But Arthur still wasn't finished.

"You could've just _told_ us, you know. " he pointed out, as Merlin stood up, rubbing his chafing wrists. "Saved us all this trouble." He gestured vaguely at the open manacles.

"You could've just _asked_!" Merlin snapped.

Arthur was thrown. "Yes, well…" he stammered, looking around wildly for an excuse. He glanced at Leon.

Leon only shrugged. "He has a point."

Merlin scowled. "You couldn't tell him that before he hauled me in here, could you?"

Leon shifted uncomfortably, and Elyan looked awkward, but Gwaine clapped the servant on the shoulder.

"Ah, come on, Merlin," he coaxed, "Don't be mad at Leon. It's not his fault."

"Fine," Merlin retorted, glaring at Gwaine. "I'll be mad at you. Why didn't _you_ tell him he was being an idiot?"

"Hey!" Gwaine protested, "I tell the princess he's an idiot all the time! You know that."

"I'll remember that the next time you want me to pay your tavern bill," Arthur muttered darkly. Elyan snickered as Gwaine blanched.

Merlin ignored them, focusing entirely on Gwaine. "What about this time, then? Why didn't you tell him he was being an idiot _this time_ , instead of letting him have me thrown into the dungeons? I mean, you _knew_ I couldn't be some monster, or demon, or fairy, or whatever he decided I was!"

"Well…"

Merlin's eyes narrowed. "Gwaine…"

To his credit, Gwaine looked sheepish. "You know us Irish. We're a superstitious lot."

"You _also_ thought I was a demon?!"

Gwaine hesitated. "Er…Not exactly." he said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" said Merlin suspiciously.

"I was actually leaning more towards a different theory," he admitted, carefully avoiding Merlin's gaze."

"Which was?"

"Er…A leprechaun."

"What?!"

Gwaine blushed. "You _do_ sort of dress like one…"

"I thought leprechauns wore green," Leon interjected.

Gwaine waved his hands. "Nah. That's just a myth. Leprechauns wear funny scarves and big buckled boots and have funny looking ears. Just like Merlin. And purple. They're famous for purple. So…"

"You thought I was a leprechaun?!" spluttered Merlin.

"It's not _that_ much of a stretch!" said Gwaine defensively. "You always look happy and jolly, and you practically skip down the stairs when you walk! But whatever you were, I knew you weren't dangerous! At least _I_ didn't think you were a kelpie…like _some_ people did." he added, glaring pointedly at Elyan. Elyan scowled back.

Merlin slapped his forehead. "I can't believe this."

"I told them not to do it," said Percival suddenly.

They all stared at the usually silent knight. "Well, I _did_. I told you all it was a stupid idea. None of you would listen."

Merlin sighed. "Thanks for trying, Percival. And for not thinking I was a demon," he added.

Percival shrugged. "I just thought you'd gone color blind."

Merlin rolled his eyes. "I suppose that's better than a demon. Or a _leprechaun_ … _Honestly_ , Gwaine…"

"Why did you even bother wearing the shirt if it was purple?" asked Arthur.

It was Merlin's turn to shrug. "I didn't think anyone would notice."

There was a stunned silence as everyone stared at Merlin in disbelief.

"Are you _mad_?!?" Arthur finally sputtered, looking thunderstruck. "You've been wearing the same two shirts since you came to Camelot. Red or blue. Red or blue. Red or blue. Every. Single. Day! And suddenly you're wearing purple? Did you _honestly_ think we wouldn't notice? _Of course_ we noticed! Everybody in the _kingdom_ noticed!"

"Well, then you're _all_ idiots!" shouted Merlin "Don't you have more important things to be focusing on, other than my wardrobe? Especially _you_!" he added, jabbing a finger accusingly at Arthur. "You're the _king_ , you clotpole! Don't you have a _kingdom_ to run?"

Arthur felt his face redden. "I…" he stammered, "I…I didn't…"

"Do _I_ come at you with wooden stakes every time you get new breeches? Do _I_ throw holy water at you when you start wearing a different tunic?"

Arthur opened his mouth to speak, but words failed him.

Merlin glared at him. "Well?"

Finally, Arthur cleared his throat. "I suppose I _might_ have gone too far," he allowed.

Merlin and the knights looked at him.

Arthur threw up his hands. "Fine. I _did_ go too far. We all went too far, and I should've gone to you first and asked you, instead of taking you down to the dungeons and accusing you of being a demon. Happy?"

Merlin stared at him, incredulous. "That's the best you can do?"

"What more do you want me to say?" he demanded. "I apologized, didn't I?"

" _That's_ your apology? You were going to _exorcise_ me!"

"But I _didn't_!"

"You were _about_ to!"

"Well…so what!" Arthur snapped. "So what if I did? I'm the king, and I have the right to imprison or torture or…or _exorcise…_ whoever I want!"

"Fine!" yelled Merlin. "Fine! Don't give me a real apology! Exorcise me! Exorcise the whole kingdom for all I care. But next time, make sure you have a better excuse for doing it‒o _ther_ than the color of my shirt!"

With that, Merlin stomped out of the room, slamming the cell door behind him with a loud _clang_ that made all of them jump.

The knights looked at each other.

"You think he's really angry?" asked Gwaine.

There was a _click_ as the key turned in the door. Arthur swore and ran to the door, rattling the knob. Locked.

"I think he's pretty ticked off," said Percival.

The keys dangling on Merlin's belt jingled cheerfully in time to his angry footsteps as he stormed up the corridor and out of the dungeons.

Arthur scowled. "No one tells Guinevere about this."

**The End**


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